Momversity's Blog

The University of Life's Lessons Through Adversity

July 6, 2017

I started this blog as kind of a diary and naively thinking nobody would read…who the heck am I? Another chick starting a blog…who cares! I’ve written things that might have eluded to past loved ones that could’ve painted them in a less than desirable light. Not my intention. While I thank those who took the time and heart to read my past posts and have an interest in my past relationships — I haven’t written in many months if not years. I’m doing very well and am super busy with my two wonderful kiddos who, thankfully, have a loving, involved dad and I’m grateful to have a pleasant relationship with him.

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Thank you 2014…HELLO 2015!!!

peace on earthHere we are…bidding a good day to yet another year. This is when we “reflect” on not only this most recent, but the years gone passed. We’ve experienced great loss, pain, grief, trauma as well as gain, happiness and solace. Most years, we say good riddance as one year comes to a close and embrace the promises of a new year. Need I list (and unnecessarily remind) the heartache much of the news reported? Nah.

Thank you, 2014, for the wisdom, education and tribulations that brought us here — to your last day.  We take on another year with the will and strength to make this one of victory, peace and joy in both personal and business.

We’re coming for you, 2015! We have great faith in what you stand for — NEW BEGINNINGS and cherishing precious moments. Wishing you and yours a beautiful one — translated in all languages and communications…PEACE to all and to all a good night! xo

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Words Are Important CAMPAIGN

I’ve got a ‘words are important campaign’ going — with just me and my kiddos…that’s a good start, right?… Our society is way too quick to place blame, pass judgment, resort to anger rather than kindness, empathy or compassion. I didn’t know from the mean or deceit that I’ve seen as an adult. I guess I had a pretty pampered childhood. As they say, there are pros and cons to everything, though, I’m grateful and look back fondly on that childhood —  27 lifetimes ago.

The inappropriate, lack of reality that some live astonish and disappoint me. The other day, a man driving his car backed into mine as I was reversing out of a tight parking lot. He immediately jumped out of his beaten up vehicle and began cursing. Another guy came running toward me asking if I wanted his number since he’s an eye witness and saw the whole thing. Then, another guy walked over in a huff breaking down the accident and pointing fingers. My kids were in the car so I stood close by in a mama’ bear-appropriate stance while telling all three men that our society is too quick to freak out and get pissed off…oh – and mind their own business (mostly to the schmuck giving me a play by play).

As we (this newfound party that this scene has now attracted) started to look over the damage to my car, there was none! I told the other driver that I’m not calling his insurance company and to HAVE A GOOD DAY. While I softly refer to this world as sometimes ugly, goodness prevails.

Our words are important…I keep reminding my children (as we all need a little reminder once in a while…sometimes more often than not). This (open to all) campaign stands to teach our children on a daily basis what’s kind to say (and do) and what’s simply not acceptable. This is more like a work-in-progress campaign. Again, it’s a good start.

Oh – and another thing, please do not confuse kindness with weakness. I’m not a big person and I’m usually an overall pretty nice gal, however, do not believe that those traits are synonymous with allowing my *ss to get beaten down. I promise you, I’m not having it. I may have to accept and live with certain truths, but so help me – I’ll be insulted by just the mere assumption that I’d stick around to take anyone’s ***t! I may be digressing a bit, but still on the right track.

…So pipe down and let’s be friends. If nothing else, let’s exchange friendly niceties and be on our way. Happy, healthy, fun-filled, peaceful New Year to you and yours!

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This is a NO PARKING zone!

I’ve had my hazards on at times here and there over these last few years looking for answers or signs of life — maybe just glimmers of hope, but even in my worst moments of wanting to hide from my own SOS, I’ve still refused to park.

I’ve just come to learn that SOS stood for SS76“save our ship” or “save our soul.” I sometimes thought that my SOS was on hyper-transmittal mode and, though, wondering if anyone heard me, looking back, I definitely believe I was.

Now more than ever, my SOS is on high frequency. Dogs can probably hear my signal from miles away. Being idle, even with hazards on, is no longer an option. Going through the motions of life…in survival mode. I want more than that, for me and my children. Surviving is necessary. Living is crucial…and I want to live!

I’m reiterating when I say we’re all on our own healing timelines and that includes peaks, valleys and many strange paths taken in order to get us to the place where we can say, “switch me from park and into overdrive — STAT!” It’s time to show the world that it doesn’t matter what happened TO us, but rather what it has made OF us and how these experiences will benefit others.

Now more than ever — this is a  NO PARKING zone!

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Happy Mom’s Day to all!

Happy Moms Day

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GAME CHANGER!

hollywood-sign-closeup

I was a Television Producer for over fifteen years and worked with a vengeance to climb that ladder. I never considered veering off from this path nor did I realize that I’d get derailed in such a way where continuing on this path was no longer my desire or interest.

I was gone from my two small children for way too many hours throughout the day. It just wasn’t an option anymore, BUT now what?! I still need to make money!

NOT in my wildest dreams would I think that after working long, hard hours for this many years would it all be for not. I realize now that it wasn’t all for not — I made golden friendships, gained great (and not so good) professional experiences, crossed paths with interesting (and not so much) people; and honed my natural multi-tasking skills and behaviors — which lends a great hand in what I do now as a full time mom, freelance producer pitching show ideas and real estate agent.

I was intrigued at the idea of starting a second career in real estate as it’s something I’ve watched my mother work hard at since I was five years old. She became a top agent in her company and I hope to follow in her stylish high-heeled footsteps!

Being complacent was not an option. I wanted to be present for my children while showing them that you could do ANYTHING you set your mind to.

New Ending

 

 

 

 

 

 

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The Real Plan, The Better One, Is The Result Of The Planned One

Better Plan Is Now In Motion

The Real Plan is the Result

 

 

There’s gotta’ be a reason why s**t happens and the purpose for us is to be the better example in how we handle it. #stopthecycle

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Unplanning the Path

I’ve been a television producer in almost every genre since 1997. Working long hours while chasing, and actually accomplishing, a dream recently brought me to the realization that this dream is in great need of changing its course.

Believing that there will always be light in the end of any situation continues to give me peace because there HAS to be light, right? With that said, I’ve recently, and SO SADLY, realized that I’m not Wonder Woman and am unable to take the production jobs that I used to strive for with severe deliberants. Reason being, I’m now a mom of two small, beautiful, healthy children who are the source of my desire to find a work balance that allows me to care for them while being present on a daily basis. When my youngest was five months-old, I was asked during an interview by a potential employer, “What would you do if your five-month-old had a fever?” Hmmm – I should’ve packed it up then and there, but worked too hard to get to that place and didn’t want to give up so easy just because my interviewer was a chauvinistic twit. 

 I realize now, after powering through a few more years, that it’s not “giving up,” but more like switching gears. Trivial side note: that show is no longer even on the air.

As far as switching gears in this world of countless careers and opportunities offered and/or sought after in one lifetime — I believe that if finding the right company and people within, network marketing is seemingly the proper channel in today’s world of unstable job markets. I recently took the leap into a successful company led by doctors who have changed the landscape of skincare AND this particular market bringing in more 6-7 figure PER MONTH salaries than most careers do in a lifetime. This includes passive, residual income – one that can change lives. 

 Life can be uncertain and unexpected curve balls are thrown our way — allowing new doors to open and paths to cross that we’d normally not have been exposed to if it weren’t for the circumstances that brought us here in the first place…even the really bad ones. Life’s twists and turns sometimes leave us unable to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but there will always be light even when we’re unable to see it in the darkest moment because light is the hope that we attach to our dreams. Dreams can change, but the light will always be there guiding us through our path.

There may be some bumps, but embrace the smoothness along the way. I recently took my children ice skating and I realized that the silkiness of the ice is something we don’t get to feel in our every day lives. Life is not typically smooth. The past few years have not been silky ones, though, looking back, necessary tasks fell into place nicely as a result of HUGE bumps, so gliding on the ice feels freeing in a world where we don’t normally glide through our daily lives (but we can on the rink!). I love gliding on that ice, and, luckily, so do my kiddos. As silly as it is, it brings me such great solace.

For most people, it is typical to come across bumps, peaks and even mountains — and then have to hike over them because we’re survivors which leaves us no other choice but to keep climbing. Don’t be afraid to stumble (it happens to the best of us) — as long as you learn from every little trip and remember each could lead you to a whole other route than planned, probably and ultimately an even better one. 

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The hunt for the new car

Who doesn’t want a nice ride?  I’ve always gotten the basic model with minimal features (BORING!), which is fine especially when you’re on a budget. I’m still on a budget, but looking for a car WITH features (FINALLY!) AND is also, of course, economical. Some of us need certain features like a rear camera such as myself because I’m afraid EVERY DAY of running over a child in my son’s preschool parking lot. It was freaking me out for way too long, so the rear view cam is a high priority for me, though, it seemed our society got by fine without it for decades, but why not add an extra precautionary measure.

I’ve leased my last four vehicles…Honda Accord; Acura RSX – I loved this one! My little sporty hatchback that I turned in when I was 8 months pregnant with my daughter / first child for a 2007 Toyota Rav 4. Four years later, this was turned in for yet another 2011 Rav 4…this is getting boring. Once this lease was close to its end, which is NOW — I was on a mission! I started to research almost 8 months before my lease was up, which is somewhat absurd and could even be all for not if dealerships only have promotions per certain months, but test driving can’t hurt. I test drove the Mitsubishi Outlander; Dodge Journey; Toyota Odyssey (minivan). Some of us admit that there’s a certain stigma attached to the minivan or, if not stigma, a feeling of being an uncool mom, which is not the case, of course, but a meaningless societal connotation. I probably would’ve considered the minivan if I found a great deal. The Outlander and Journey are both stylish and have tons of great features such as rear view cam, sunroof, leather interior. It’s rare that I see either on the road, but I’m rooting for them. The Outlander has great gas mileage at 25 mpg and even has something called “Forward Collision Mitigation (FCM) system available in the 2014 Outlander detects oncoming obstructions and alerts the driver with both sound and visual cues, and can even automatically apply the brakes, if necessary, to help avoid or reduce impact of a collision (quoted from its site).” I wonder if this feature was made for those texters on the drive. The Journey and Outlander both run around $30k WITH added features. Don’t let this fool you – just because a car has a good sticker price doesn’t mean  your monthly payments are low. Each dealer has their own percentage rates, incentives, promos…so keep shopping around if it’s not clicking with your budgetary needs. I didn’t think the Toyota Highlander was even in my price range since I got a couple of quotes from different salespeople. Side note: the few salespeople that I’ve come across over the past few months were a bit swarmy and I was secretly mad at them because I was hoping this generalization would start to disappear. I’m sure they’re all NOT creepy and ill-informed, but the ones I came across were. I knew more answers than they did from my own research AND I sensed, due to my petite appearance and simply by being a chick, they thought they could easily sway me and make a sale on the spot. NOT ME, SALES GUY! It’s insulting already. What year do we live in? COME ON…there really needs to be a course for all car salespeople in proper car sales etiquette specifically in approach and exit. I feel like they smell stupid when they see me walking in which only prompts me to be as colder and as bolder as they least expect. It throws them off guard, but at least they know where I stand. I’m not rude. I simply say I’ve been researching small to mid-size SUVs over the past few months and I’d like to take one for a test drive. I add that I have two small children, my time is very limited as is my patience for BS. They ALL ask how can they close this deal today as I’m on my way out. In my mind, I say – “You can close it by politely getting the hell out of my way.” Although, you can use this to your advantage if you’re really ready to buy or lease and don’t be afraid to get up and walk out if they’re not meeting your numbers. They may surprise you by getting very close. If not, keep getting quotes from other dealers and use them as leverage if you’re willing to go back to the previously visited.

Crash course, no pun intended (kind of), in leasing vs buying: I like to lease at this point in my life because I have two young children and I’m not sure what our needs will be in three years, though, I love my new leased SUV and would consider buying it in three years when the lease is up. Buying a slightly used car is always good if you’d like to hold onto the vehicle for a few years. As soon as a vehicle is driven off the lot it loses significant value, so a used car with even as low as 10k miles would knock the price down a bit making it a better deal – if you don’t mind not having a brand new car.

If you go through a car agent, it’s still wise to do your own research and as many test drives necessary to inform them of your exact needs. I got my last RAV 4 through a car agent, CLS, and they were awesome. They advised that I take my older RAV 4 (2007) to Carmax where I received $400 back; jumped in a cab heading home where my CLS rep met me to receive my new RAV 4 (2011). My most recent lease was through another car agent named Alison Creditor, who works for DriveWise Auto, which I found off of Jen’s List. Jen was personally recommending DriveWise Auto on her daily newsletter.  They donate a small portion of their proceeds to your charity of choice.  Ms. Creditor found a great deal for me on a 2013 Toyota Highlander with the bells and whistles I never had – until now. She also made the transaction seamless and time efficient. You can reach her via email at alisonc@drivewiseauto.com. Toyota has an incentive program where they’ll buy out the last 2 or so months left on your lease just to get you into a new Toyota, and I did just that since mine had 2 months left. Toyota also is the only dealer, that I’ve found, who offers the first two years free maintenance – how cool is that?! I LOVE this car, though, not the hybrid I was aiming for because it didn’t fit my budget so now I feel I owe our environment an apology, I promise it’s in the plan for my next search. The mid to large-size hybrid SUV’s come with a pricier tag. You can find EXCELLENT deals on hybrids like the Prius and Prius V and small crossovers, but the larger the vehicle the more money you’re looking at spending on a hybrid.

Please never be discouraged or overwhelmed to take on the task of car shopping for yourself. I’ve heard girlfriends say they need a guy with them when buying a car so they don’t get taken advantage. I just don’t believe in that school of thought. If we needed a guy with us for all transactions….well, let me just say – that might get really annoying. My ex-husband took our daughter horseback riding while I stayed home with our newborn to interview a variety of plumbers for an expensive and messy job that would take out our front lawn. Do you think I looked on the Internet to investigate this type of job just to see how much the prices varied and what alternatives we had? Yes. Did I need a man? Hell no. I had my baby man with me and that was cool even though he was obviously no help. Anyway, I moved from cars to plumbing for example of this being another task us gals could do successfully, if not better, on our own. Please don’t take this as we don’t need men in general…that’s a whole other post.

I compared vehicles on edmunds.com and cars. com. I was talking with more than one car agent and test driving and comparing dealership incentives. NEVER let the dealerships intimidate or overwhelm you when visiting for a simple test drive or working through numbers with their sales manager. They want YOU so they’re attempting to manipulate you into how you need them. Try, I know this one is hard under the stress and time constraints of our busy lives, to begin your research knowing you have a few months to look around. It really is nice driving a car that has that rear view camera, which I wanted TWO leases ago…It’s never too late.

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Spontaneous Trip to Legoland

Last Saturday morning, my four year-old was happily playing with legos when I got a text from my downstairs neighbor informing me that she hears banging from our floor. I immediately texted back apologizing and telling her that both kiddos were getting over a cough and I was planning to stay home with them today, hence, the bonking about with the legos. I added that we’re cleaning up right now and we’ll be conscious, as usual (how could we not be with the friendly reminders?!) with respecting our neighbors. Ha! tell that to a four year-old. I have hundreds of times now. We have hardwood floors so I put down the alphabet/number mats to break the brash fall of blocks and legos. Some may escape part of the mat, hit the floor and cause a bonk. I find it sad to have to remind your children ALL day long to keep the noise down and respect our neighbors since this is supposed to be their safe place – should be a place for them to blow off steam and allow the legos to fall where they may for cryin’ outloud. I’m too guilt-ridden and considerate to NOT remind my kids, AND I don’t want to get texts or knocks at my door – it reminds me that we once had more privacy in our last home, but also drives me to figure out a way to get the kids into a house again where if they happen to skip to the bathroom or drop a toy car – so feakin’ be it.  The funny thing is, this building is only a year or so old and the majority is filled with children, so you’d think we’d give each other some slack. Would I ever tell the downstairs or side neighbor that their kid wakes me at 5a when she cries – no, because she may be sick…or (drum roll) simply a child. Children cry… I get it. Everyone needs to give each other a little bit of slack. Our society is way too quick to expect the other person to be their enemy. Don’t get me started on road rage…I make it a point to talk to my kids about how we’re letting this particular person into our lane with hopes that people do the same for us when we need. People are innately PISSED at everyone else on the road and check-out lines and…I digress.

The next day, I decided to announce that we’re going on an adventure since there’s no school tomorrow on account for Veterans Day – we’re even staying overnight in a hotel! We’re getting outta’ dodge where nobody’s gonna’ tell us to stop playing with legos! WE’RE GOING TO LEGOLAND! My six year old was all over it and asked if she could start packing. I later realized that she helped her little brother pack his lovey’s for our overnight excursion. I began to do a quick internet search on hotels when I found the only two that are walking distance to Legoland — The Legoland Hotel and the Sheraton Carlsbad. I called the Sheraton who quoted me $250 for the night. I was about to pay by phone when my youngest began to cry because he didn’t want to stay at a hotel. My oldest looked at me as if to say “can’t we just leave him home” as she does frequently. I kindly hung up with the hotel rep and felt the need to be really spontaneous, going WAY outside of my comfort zone, and wing it. We’ll check in some time today – any time. No rules evidently apply to this mom today. We hooked up the portable DVD player in the car and hit the road. When we arrived at Legoland two hours later, I told the parking attendant that we’re checking into the Legoland Hotel, which was not yet completely true. Yup – Legoland Hotel was booked, BUT we ate lunch at their cafe where they served legos to each child eating there and we got to take home their Legoland labeled cups – which were used later that night…in our hotel room. These kids were elated with their lego-ridden meal. As we were leaving, my daughter proudly gave her legos to another little girl who just sat down for their lego-loving lunch. Then, I bought tickets for Legoland at, what other place than, The Legoland Hotel – at their guest discount…woo hoo! Child’s ticket was $54.40 and adult was $62.40. Normal walk up price is $68 for kids and $78 for adults, so I got a good deal. We probably could’ve stayed in The Legoland Hotel lobby where lives a fun-filled apparatus filled with legos. Amidst the $38 face paint (which made the cut to this year’s holiday card – got my money’s worth!), and $10 lost on games that I didn’t win stuffed animals (I made up for another one for $13 about an hour later), a couple of mild meltdowns and considering we were only at the park for roughly four hours — it was a good day and we were ready to find a hotel. Since we parked at The Legoland Hotel (Did I mention it’s free to park at the hotel? I didn’t know this either. I wasn’t lying when I told the attendant earlier that I was hoping to get a room and check in for the night with the off-chance it was all booked.), I checked once more to see if they were still booked — and they were, so we drove around the corner to The Sheraton — SCORE! I was offered a room for $25o by phone earlier that morning and was now, at 6p and in person, offered $189. Still pretty pricey, but way better than $250 and convenient and clean and nobody in my party was screaming…AND I knew the announcement made that morning was not gonna lend to an inexpensive day. I mentally prepared myself, however, I did get free parking and Legoland ticket discount. We set off to the room where we FIRST DECLARED A MOMENT OF JUMPING (we were on the first floor and that building was rock solid not to disturb a soul), then put together a newly bought bag of legos, ordered room service. Okay – so the discounts earlier that day justify this added expense in my mind, and again that ‘convenience’ thing keeps rearing its ugly head especially when traveling solo with a 4 and 6 year-old. The little guy made it clear he was sleeping with mama, so we shared a queen while his big sis had a queen all to herself and seemed more than fine with hit. I was so proud of myself to be on cue with bedtime in a new environment until my little man could not fall asleep. When discussing why tiny dots appear on the ceiling (fire alarm) or the wall (sensor) or the other wall (light switch), it turned 8:30p to 10p in the matter of seconds. What just happened? We were doing so well…Morning came around FAST. Despite the late bedtime, we were all awake by 7a. My little ingrates suggested room service for breakfast. I’ve officially created monsters. Oh hello there my sweet convenience AND I don’t have to clean my kitchen…what a gift. An expensive gift, but a gift in itself. I was going to head to San Diego Zoo or Sea World, but realized (in my un-researched haste) that both are 30 miles south. I was thinking that if we’re gonna’ do this, we’re gonna’ do this right! Then, my practical/safe/structured side was hoping to be home by 3p considering tomorrow was a school day, so my practical side was taking over and I decided we hit the beach and just run around for a bit, get lunch and head back to LA. There was first a park that was argued over whether or not we visit and then which beach and where to park. Finally, found a pretty beach with rocks (to climb – why did I stop at this one?)….They dunked their toes, got wetter than planned and took in some war wounds from the rocks after I asked them to get off about 25 times. The wet clothes made their way off, dry clothes came on and away we went to lunch at a local diner where my son insisted to turn around while standing and taunt the people seated at the next booth. I have to admit, it makes me feel better to see other parents squirm while their child does this. It’s as if I’m not alone in this world where no matter how many times I repeat the importance of manners, rules, kindness – only I can hear me. Why do I need to hear me? I already know how to be polite and I consider myself a polite person. UGH! Why do kids do this? They love it and it really could not be more annoying…not sure who’s more annoyed, the parents or the patrons being harassed by your child. Who cares – it’s annoying. My threats, deals, discussions, rewards were wearing thin and it was time to go.

It took 2.5 hours to get home which landed us back by 3:30p. I’m glad we saved Sea World and San Diego Zoo for another trip. Despite the few mentioned hiccups, traveling with my kiddos is getting easier as they get older. Being a New Yorker, I very rarely get back east – but am planning a trip this summer. Our neighbors will have to wait a few more months for that reprieve.

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